Most Excellent and Worthy and Pedantic-Putrid Paul,
Just shut it with your exhortations! I used to have a wife until she decided she was better off spreading the seeds of God and making sandals that dust doesn’t stick to. You seem to think Colossia is all about Christ, hmm? What a crock of shit. Get a handle on it, P! I haven’t see so much self-indulgence since Jesus dragged that blasted cross all the way across Jerusalem to Calvary. As if it ended in some sort of miracle. Get off it!
That’s about it. Umm, if you’re ever back in town, could you bring some of those lemon candies from Rome? They’re to die for! The kids just love it.
Keep the writing to a minimum,
Joshua bar Zechariah ish Colossia