Awash in its own flames, the giant dirigible was a leap for mankind–if only in the discovery that hydrogen does not make a good transportation medium. Many died; and we recall one anonymous reporter who expectorated the words: Oh, the humanity!

But our desperation should not be held for large balloons filled with the wrong sort of air. I do not mean to dismiss the horror that was the explosion of the Hindenburg, but only to remind ourselves that such disaster can manifest itself in many ways. Let the tragedy of the Hindenburg serve as our metaphor.

Henceforth, let us mark each word we use with gravity outside its purpose with a strict designation. Let all such words, jointly or alone, be known as Hindenburg Rhetoric. Furthermore, let the following circumstances for usage be known:

1. That when words are eagerly expected, and the pundits presage a great message, but that in reality they are an abomination to creed, faith, morality, or purpose, let those who hear it label it as Hindenburg Rhetoric.

2. That when a conglomeration of people cling to the future promises made by one individual and those promises prove to be unfounded and false, let them be called Hindenburg Rhetoric.

3. That when words are intended toward a greater good but violently turn towards ill, let these be called Hindenburg Rhetoric.

4. That when science has vowed improvement but their words are turned against them through experimentation, let this be called Hindenburg Rhetoric.

5. Finally, that when shortcuts are taken to improve speed and increase benefit and profit but ultimately produce failure, injury, death, or loss, that these articulated shortcuts be named Hindenburg Rhetoric.

So let it be written, so let it be said. Henceforth, in the aforementioned circumstances, “Hindenburg Rhetoric” shall be used and its definition shall be known everywhere English is spoken.

It is enacted, this 5th day of October, in the year of our Lord 2007.